Victim or Victor?

by Susan on June 19, 2018

Recently I came across an anonymous quote in my Facebook newsfeed. “Every test in our life makes us bitter or better. Every problem comes to break us or make us. The choice is ours whether we become Victim or Victor.” This quote couldn’t have come at a better time. Our family has been through some difficult times recently. I have not blogged here in quite some time and I stepped away from my social media platforms as well. I needed some time to step back, re-evaluated, and focus on my family. The last year or so has brought some difficult challenges into our lives. We have tried to use each challenge as a time of growth, a time to learn and become stronger as a family. We know God has allowed each of these challenges for a reason, but I admit, the road has been tough. As we entered into 2018, I prayed that we would be putting the trials behind us and start the new year with a clean slate, a fresh start. But January saw more unexpected difficulties, and then the biggest trial for us yet came out of nowhere in March. As you may already know, we are missionaries on the island of Pohnpei in Micronesia, where we have lived for over 17 years. On March 16 of this year, we began to see rain like we’d never seen before on our little island. Granted, Pohnpei is one of the wettest places in the world with an annual rainfall near 400 inches. Yet the rain on this particular day fell hard and showed no sign of stopping. We had to cancel some activities we had scheduled that day and we all decided to just stay in and wait it out. I remember sitting in my usual spot at the kitchen table in front of our french doors, looking out at the rain falling and commenting that I hoped we wouldn’t have any damage from the storm.

We assumed by the following day, the storm would pass and life would go back to normal. Sadly that was not the case. On Saturday morning, we woke to the sound of falling trees and realized two trees had come down on our house. Throughout the morning, we continued to keep an eye on the hill behind our house as the rain continued to come down heavier than anything we’d ever seen before. As we began to see shifts in the soil on the hill, by 11 AM we made the decision to evacuate. Just after noon, we received word from our neighbors that a mudslide had torn through our home. As the rain came to a halt later in the afternoon we made the drive back to our village to look over the damage. Our house is about a 20-30 minute drive from town, but this time it felt like the longest drive ever as we tried to imagine what we would find at home. Nothing could have prepared us for what we found. The mudslide, along with trees and boulders had taken out the back doors as well as a window. Mud and water had flowed through the entire house, destroying anything in it’s path. My spot at the kitchen table where I had been sitting and watching the rain was under 6 feet of mud. A mango tree had made it’s final resting place in what was left of our kitchen. Our water catchment was lying on it’s side in the living room.

It’s been more than 3 months now since the storm ransacked our little island. Flooding and mudslides had occurred all over the island, taking out homes and even taking one life. We are thankful that our family came through safely. We are far from having life back to normal. We went 10 weeks without running water. As of this writing, our home is still buried! We’ve run into a lot of issues with getting it dug out such as bad weather and nonsensical government red tape (apparently you need a permit to have a mudslide bury your home. Who knew!). We moved back into the house about a week and a half after the storm and have more or less been camping there since then. We gradually have adjusted to the “new normal”. We have slowly worked our way through cleaning out rooms and making them useable again, though every time heavy rains come, which has been extreme and frequent this year, the house floods again. But through it all, God has provided. God has protected. God has shown Himself to us over and over. We have learned to pick up and move on. We have learned to make do with what we have. We have learned to laugh instead of cry. We have learned to look for the blessings in the midst of disaster. Friends and family, both on island and far away, have prayed with us, cried with us, worked with us, and encouraged us. Would I choose to have my home and everything I own destroyed? Absolutely not! But would I trade the growth and learning of the last 3 months for a “normal” life? Absolutely not! I want this test to make me better, not bitter. I want it to make me, not break me. I am choosing Victor over Victim!

I’m currently in the States with my two youngest daughters visiting my parents for a family reunion they are hosting. God provided a way for the three of us to come and it’s nice to get out of the mud and mess for a few weeks. As I’ve had time on this trip to reflect more and mentally process the past three months, I’ve decided to take some time to update my blog here and jump back into my social media platforms. Will I be back to posting regularly? I don’t know yet. I hope so. But I’m not making any promises. Meanwhile, follow me on Facebook and I’ll update as much as I can. And as always, you can message me at any time. I love hearing from my readers!

God bless!

The remains of my kitchen

Everyone helps with the cleanup. Even the youngest!

Kyler cooking up breakfast for the crew.

Friends came to help with the scrubbing.

Cleanup is more fun with friends.

Time to dig out the inside!

It took 11 men to get this boulder out of the house. It now sits by our one working faucet out front and serves as a soap holder.

Making progress!

At last! We can board up the back and say goodbye to the rat “friends” that insist on visiting.

The equipment arrived! Giving us hope! (short-lived hope though as the government soon shut down the digging, stating we needed to permit to dig out our house).